Thursday, March 31, 2011

:-P ???

I see that these days smileys are being used a lot. U have smileys on all social networking sites, on ur fone and on all instant messengers .. for those who don’t know abt smileys (well, if u don’t know abt smileys, then how the hell did u come across this blog??); they are just used to convey the mood of the conversation. For example:

I slept with your girlfriend .. :) means yeah, I slept with your girlfriend and she was quite good.

I slept with your girlfriend .. ;-) means .. I am just kidding .. I didn’t sleep with your gf.

I slept with your girlfriend .. L means .. I feel guilty abt sleeping with her .. (and of course, abt betraying you)

I slept with your girlfriend .. :-D means .. I slept with your girlfriend and it was pbly best thing in the world cuz I can’t wipe the grin off my face.

I slept with your girlfriend .. :-* means .. I slept with your girlfriend and now I want to sleep with you too..

I slept with your girlfriend .. :-o means .. Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Guess who slept with your girlfriend ??

I slept with your girlfriend :-X means I slept with her and it’s the worst thing that could happen to me (even worse than betraying you)

I slept with you girlfriend .. 8-) means we did it on a hot, sunny afternoon.

I slept with your girlfriend .. :-$ .. means she did stuff that I have seen only in movies ..

I slept with your girlfriend ..

<`/3 .. means she said that I sucked (no double meaning intended here)

I slept with your girlfriend .. <3 means .. u can say goodbye to her .. she is with me now (u useless fellow!)

So .. u get the drift .. now I have always been a cyber-freak .. no .. not freak .. err .. cyber-normal guy .. for as long as I can remember .. I have been to internet cafes and paid 50 bucks an hour and I have sat in the cafes for hours. So you can say that by internet aging standards .. I am quite old.. :( .. (see how I used the smiley? .. subtle .. huh ?? ;) .. Whoa! Again .. :-D .. ok this could go on for a while) .. enough abt me. What I wanted to say was, off late there is this new smiley that everyone is using which is à :P. Now .. in all my experience I have never come across this smiley. I have never noticed it on yahoo messenger (yes, this was the most popular thing before Facebook arrived) and I must have chatted with over a 1000 different people my entire life (I have been that jobless and needless to say .. I still am).. and no one has ever used it to me. Ok .. for others who are as dense as I am “:P” is a person sticking out his tongue .. or the American equivalent of “Kaaaaa thu .. ” ..

What is intriguing is that people these days are using it casually in every other sentence. So .. technically (or rather not?) .. if this was taken literally i.e people spitting; half of internet would be drenched in saliva. I was able to figure out the smileys mentioned above (see? .. I gave examples n stuff, I would get full marks for that answer.. ha! ha!) .. but I am still not able to figure out the meaning of :P ..

these were the various instances in which ppl told me that smiley ..

lemme know!!!! :P:P

i dint get an iphone :P:P

just like that only! :-P:-P

lol!!! Good Joke.. :-P:-P

I am comin to ur house tomo :P .. etc ..

Mind you .. these are actually taken from my chats (thank facebook for that ..) and I still cannot figure out its meaning .. or its context. I have thought long and hard about it and I cannot think of any social situation where a normal person (in this case, me) would be required to stick out his tongue. May be you the general public (Am I being too optimistic here ?) who read my blog could help me out .. :P .. or did I just use it rightly now ??

Monday, March 14, 2011

AD analysis - Mannapuram Gold Loan.

For the benefit of people with slow internet connection/ no access to tv .. I am breaking down this ad into couple of scenes. All the other can catch the ad on tv .. they air every 5 mins on every other channel. You can even catch the ad here

Scene 1: Akshay (or akki or pakki or monkey or whatever) has no money and he keeps looking here n there (as if he is that rich and money would be lying around his house). His wife comes to him, opens a book to show that there are only a couple of hundred bucks left in the house. She also breaks a piggy bank to reveal that all she has is only chillar(or chillre).
Scene 2: akshay’s daddy (v can refer to him using the same nicknames as above) is looking at all this from the picture and suddenly jumps out. And starts singing,’’ when u have gold in the house’u, then y r u uttufying so much rouse’u”

Scene 3: they take the gold from the house, go to mannapuram, get the money and the whole family starts dancing.

(I couldnt find the dancing screenshot .. but i am sure you can imagine a couple of monkey's dancing)

Ok .. I find a lot of things offensive about this ad. Lets analyse this ad point by point.

1. Akki lives in such a huge house, so he must have been rich at some point in time. You could saying that It could be ancestral property, but then, look closely, it is furnished with latest furniture and it also appears to have been painted with expensive paint(of course, it could be painted with nerolacs paint that gives the rich look at less price). Even then, It would take a lot of money to paint that house. So v can safely assume that akki was rich in the near future.

The question to be asked here is: What the hell did he do with all the money? Did he spend the whole damn thing on painting and furnishing the house? Even then, doesn’t he have a job? Wouldn’t he get salary at the end of the month(or at the beginning of it)? Then “Why so serious” ???

2. For all we know, the dad akshay could have been killed by the daughter-in-law aka son akshay’s wife. So may be he wants to take revenge on her. That’s y even when the son is in financial trouble, he is laughing in the painting. And when the son talks to him, he brainwashes him to pawn his wife jewelry, u know instead of advising him to get a job or to get a life or at least to stop crying like a sissy.

3. This is the most messed up part of the ad which is think is totally offensive to women (I am making up for my previous post here). First of all there is so much jewelry in the house; How did it get there? It should have been dowry. (cuz I don’t see how can a crybaby like akki can spend so much for her wife). Secondly, these jewelry is supposed to the wife’s most prized possession (cuz u no brought from her own house n all, full of family sentiment). And she just gives all this when the husband asks for it (where are all the feminist groups ?? some one plz go n rescue this woman). I think that she should given akki a tight slap for being a useless husband and for pawning her gold to feed the family.

4. Seriously ?? does one require all this dancing at the end of the ad. Just as Microsoft windows tells us from time to time “your system has recovered from a serious error” .. this family has recovered from a financial crisis and all they can think of doing is dancing for a happy tune ?? haven’t the makers of the ad watched any Indian films ?? don’t they know that in these scene there should be a sentiment song playing and the father should be crying (yeah, crying in this scene is fine) and hugging family n stuff. But, hold on, they aren’t doing any of that stuff which leaves me to one conclusion: Akki and his wife are dumbest, the most brainless,idiotic mentally deficient, imbeciles in the world.

5. Ok. They have got the money. Now what ?? What is the guarantee that they wont spend that money again (they have already proved that they don’t have any brains). They don’t have any more gold that they can pawn. Will they come to nadu-road(in the streets) ?? but then who cares about all this .. (except me of course) ??

P.S: The ad is not even a whole minute and I spent over three hours writing this piece. I guess there are other losers in this world too.

This ad was apparently filmed by priyadarshan (wtf !!)

Also this ad is available in many languages, sorry, I have only seen the hindi version of it and I am not commenting on the other versions.

Machi's day !!

So we ”celebrated” women’s day a couple of days back. What is the deal with a separate day for women?? Don’t get me wrong here .. I am not a chauvinist or anti-feminist or anything of that sort. But I don’t get it .. I mean .. The only women who actually celebrate this day is the women who are independent and have-it-all (i.e. money, rowdy power and more money). These are the women who play villis in movies e.g Ramya Krishnan in Padayappa, shreya in thimiru and of course, our very own swarna akka.

On top of all this, these women want the men i.e people like u (if u r a guy) and me to celebrate this women’s day that makes no sense to me whatsoever. From a guy’s perspective (i.e my perspective), we think about women all the time. We dress well, go to gym(I don’t, I personally believe that exercising is a waste of time), buy new stuff .. why ?? to impress the ladies. We are already thinking about women all the time. We are singing duets with every girl that we see, picking up handkerchiefs in bus stops, lifts etc. We might have hundreds of other important work to be done. Yet we are there being dignified servants to these women.

So basically what I am trying to say is every day is women’s day for us so this special day makes no difference.

On the contrary, I think it should be other way around .. there needs to be a day for us guys so that women can think about us for a change. At least on this (macho or machi) day, I can hope that the girls I hope that we restrain from doing the above mentioned activities and concentrate on our work for a change. But then again, who is complaining (apart from me, of course?)

P.S - I picked that image off google .. so if am doing any copyright infringement, i ll be more than glad to remove the image ...