This is a true story (like all the other stories in my blog) and this incident happened to me about two weeks back. Now, for all I know, this could be a very normal thing that happened to me .. and may be I am making too big a deal out of it. But yeah .. this happened to me for the first time and I pray to god that I am never in that situation again.
So, I went for a movie with a couple of my friends (an absolutely boring movie I should say). My friends had got some of their friends with them and I was meeting them for the first time. The intermission came and I was unlucky to be stuck with the most boring guy of the lot. That guy looked very funny too. I would go into description of how he looked like but I don’t want to take the chances of my friend reading it (I know she wouldn’t be reading this .. but why take the risk?). Well, I had no other choice but to talk with that guy. My conversation with him went somewhat like this. Mind you, the actual words spoken by that guy was 100 times more than what is potrayed here.
Me: so, how did u like the movie so far?
That guy (TG): the movie was quite ok. How did u like it?
Me: the movie was boring. May be they could have done the dream sequences in a better way.
TG: see, it was surreal kind of movie. The dream sequences should be like that and you should look at it from
directors point of view. The director has kept the sequences like that because it was what he thought was best. May be if we take a movie I doubt if we can take scenes like this. U know inception, even that had some weird dream scenes that I didn’t understand but I didn’t say I didn’t like it because I know that’s what director felt it should be and I don’t like criticizing the people who made the movies.
Me: ok, I am going to go get me an ice coffee you want something?
TG: oh, I don’t prefer ice coffee that much. I don’t like ice tea also. What else do they have? Oh that mineral water? I find it too expensive I don’t know how they can sell water for Rs 150 in theatres. Someone should do something abt it.
Me*thinking*: ivan rumba pesuran, na poi line la nikkaren. (this guy is talking too much, I’d better go and stand in the line.)
TG(contd.): these ppl say that mineral water is taken from natural springs. But ..
Me: ok I am getting this ice coffee, u want something?
TG: hmmm I ll have this hot dog. Do u think this hot dog will be good? Do they really put dogs in hot dog? Ha hah ahah. I think I ll have this sandwich. No .. no .. I think I ll have iced tea. Do they have iced tea?
Me*thinking*: dai enna paatha waiter madri irruka, mooditu enna venumo sollu (do I look like a waiter, STFU and order what u want)
TG(contd.): no they don’t have iced tea. They don’t have red bull also. Slice? No. ok then I don’t want anything.
Me*thinking*: Enna kodumay saar ithu !!
TG(Contd.): these outlets in theatres are absolutely useless. They don’t have what u want. They should expand their menu variety and reduce the prices also.
Me*thinking*: nee theatre ku padam paaka variya ella na soru thunna variya .. (are u comin to theatre to eat or to watch a movie?)
Me (finally getting a chance to speak) : yes dude, they should do something about it.
TG: ok, ennaku chuchu varudhu, restroom angay irruku, vaa namma rendu perum polam. (I need to use the restroom, come lets go)
Me: no da, I have this coffee in my hand, so u go.
And so he went.
Now, I dunno if u realized it. But that guy asked me to accompany him to the restroom. Tell me, which guy with self respect does it? Didn’t he for once realize that is the most stupid thing he could ask another man. Does he not care that once you that kind of question it would be mentioned in the blogs (irrespective of whether people read it or not). I mean, Its ok for women to go in pairs (only god knows why they need the company though .. but that’s another story), but for guys ?? seriously ..
Anyway, I think that I have established with enough certainty that “that guy” is an absolute waste fellow. The bigger question to be asked is .. why exactly did he call ask me to come with him there? These are the reasons that I could come with
1. Did he think I was gonna hold his u-no-wat while he was doing it?
2. Did he think I was some kind of expert who would teach him to shoot it in the hole? (no double meaning intended here)
3. Did he think I was gonna suggest a better posture for him?
4. Did he want me to help him groom after his job was done?
I hope that none of the above reasons were true and I certainly hope that no one asks me for company again. And for all the guys reading this, if u need the company u no now that I am the last person to whom u can ask. Despite this, if someone asks me again, I would be writing the same post again but with names. Ha ha ha ha (evil laughter).