Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Cant think of a title

So this is the season of protesting against the movies isn’t it?? Let us take a look at the protests that might have been missed out or yet to happen.  Please note I am not responsible for any violence that may result as a reading of reading this. 

Protested By:  creatures living in the sea
Reason:  kadal la verum meen thaan irukkanum and intha padathula, humans la irrukanga.

Protested by: Elephant community
Reason: they are very intelligent creatures and that they have portrayed in a very bad light in this movie.  They also feel that they are not slaves to humans and that they only do stuff for humans cuz they are bored. 

Kanna laddu thinna aasaya
Protested By:  Diabetic patients
Reason: everytime they see the poster or the trailer of the movie, it is mocking them and it is almost like telling them that people who can eat laddus are better than them.

Poda podi:
Protested by:  catering fellows.
Reason:  Apparently there are already lot of podis in the market now like idli podi, paruppu podi, poondu podi etc. so in case of any functions ppl are asking for poda podi which they cant make.

Murattu kaalai:
Protested by: all India bulls association
Reason: they claim that bulls are very peaceful creatures and not “murattu” as suggested in the title of the movie.

Also, these protesters claim that they felt that movie was offending by watching the trailer.  In that case shouldn’t they ban movies like alex pandian, sura etc cuz u those movies is going to give mass headaches to everyone.  For all we know, companies like amurthanjan and vicks could be secretly funding their movies to improve their sales.  And we lose at least 200-300 bucks of our hard earned money in watching these dumb movies. Ithu ellam you wont ask ah?  Next thing we know, these guys will be asking the government to ban rayban glasses cuz their name itself has got one “ban”.   Someone please get rid of them all.

Monday, January 7, 2013

VTV - Review

Olagathula evlovo padam irunthum, nee yen da intha padatha choose panna?

If you are asking the above question to me, sathyama the answer is “enna theriyala saar/ madam”

I guess its never too late to write a movie review, no matter how old the movie is. Now, this movie was a super hit, and there was a time when I liked this movie a lot (I had love failure then.. :P) and there are still so many ppl who like this movie a lot, so take it easy.   I have realised a lot of things of about this movie, but it took someone of spl calibre and potential (Thanks Vandhana .. J ) to find out some extra flaws in this movie.

The name of the movie is Vinaithaandi varuvaaya. It was a super duper hit and was remade in many languages, but I am not here to talk about the good stuff in this movie, after all who wants to listen to good stuff.. isnt it? So here we are.

The literal meaning of vinaithaandi varuvaaya is as follows:
Vinai – the actor .. for more details .. click here
Thaandi – cross
Varu- come
Vaaya – is it mouth?

Not really sure as to why the director chose such a name for the movie.

The gist of the movie is this. There is one crazy girl called jessie and one mental fellow called karthik, how karthik falls in love with jessie and how she kaitiutufies (couldn’t find an appropriate english word for this one) him is the story.

So  hero of the movie is karthik.  U no .. I think that karthik is the safest movie hero name.  If you want ur movie to be a hit, just name the hero karthik and make sure that the heroin says the heros name in every other dialogue eg “enna karthik”, “vaa karthik”, “po karthik” etc.

Actually, this movie should have been named jessie cuz every other character with on screen time of more than 2 mins says jessie at least 5 times.  I think the karthik realised this and that’s why he names his movie as jessie, too bad director of VTV didn’t realise that.

Also, this movie features a lot of gem of a dialogues such as,
“your daughter is sitting here like car parking and you need kkkolification?”

Towards the end, after the heroin dumps the hero,  she will say lines (lies?) like,”enna manichidu, karthik (see? karthik again), itha naa yen panna nu ennaku theriyale karthik, intha vali ennaku pudichiriku” etc.  you know how people complain about there being no message in the movie?  This is the best message that the movie can offer, about how girls are.   They will disturb you when u r damn busy, suddenly ask u to come to the other end of the city for them, make u pay countless bills (all on your meager salary mind u) and then ultimately leave you for America maapilai (in this case a UK maapilai).  This reminds me of the best quote ever in tamil cinema history, “intha ponnungalae ipdi thaan”

Also, just to establish the fact that the heroin is a mallu girl (though she is born and brought up in Chennai is a different story), she will suddenly blabber something in Malayalam in the middle of normal conversation. I don’t understand Malayalam, for all I know she could be saying “please bring tea”, “urgently bathroom coming” ,“movie is slightly mokkai” etc. Yow director, engalakku first scene la yae antha ponnu mallu’nu therinju pochu, nee atha every 5 mins solla theva elle.

There are 100s of other flaws in the movie, but I guess this is enough for now.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

About Her ...

yes, so i am back after a long (very very long) time, i thought i will write a poem. there is no spl style followed in this poem. criticisms are always welcome, appreciations are even more welcome.. ;-) .. Read on !! ..

About her ..... 

On my way home,
It began to rain,
Deep down inside,
All I could feel was pain.

At that moment,
I thought of you.
And I was feeling
Fresh as the morning dew.

The mighty sun
With its powerful rays,
Will bow down
To your lovely gaze.

When I look at you
Even in daylight,
I see the stars and the moon
On your beautiful face.

Your forehead is the sky,
Your eyebrows are constellations,
Oh my darling,
You are my universe.

When you look at me
It makes my day,
When you talk to me,
Oh, how do I explain?

Every night I ponder
The memories bittersweet
If you will ever come back
And make my heart fonder?

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Heart Break

I just wish I could lie down and sleep,
But all I do is think about you and weep.

I admit that hurting u was a mistake,
Our love, for granted I do not take.

I wish you would give me one more chance,
So I could take you on a trip to France.

I think about how much you have done,
Our love story, I want to tell it to our son.

What I had done, I want to amend,
Our relationship, I never want it to end.

I am sorry if I ever broke your heart,
I want to be with you, till death does us apart.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The day I fell in love

Given  the  very good response for my previous poem, i decided to write another one.  THanks for your responses, i was able to realise the inner poet in me .. :P .. here's my next one .. enjoy .. :) .. 

The day I fell in love.

I drove one morning on a sunny day,
Wondering how much this new company would pay.

I wanted to look tip-top,
I decided not to wear any flip-flop.

My office was in third floor,
Going till there was just a bore.

In the room, everyone was chilling,
The lunch that I had, was not quite filling.

The room door was a bit ajar,
I wish I had gone to a bar.

Through the open door she came,
She was the one I wanted to claim.

My day was just getting better,
All I wanted to do was write her a love letter.

Early morning sun rays,
Are nothing when compared to lovely gaze.

At the end of day I was thrilled,
Thank God, my wish was fulfilled.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

After all, Its a Dogs world !!!

So .. these days everyone is talking abt animal cruelty n all .. so it makes sense (or nonsense) that I talk abt it too .. the animal that we see most frequently is the dog (no .. I am not referring to ur friends whom u call “naaye”) ..  so lets talk abt dog cruelty for a while.

First .. ppl always konjify whenever there are puppies on the street .. when they grow up ..  ppl will throw stones and say stuff like “intha naayinga tholla thaanga mudilyale”  (these dogs torture is not bearable) .. paavam those dogs are .. you give impression that you like it .. then u throw stones at it .. when it is puppy .. u give biscuits and all .. but after it grows .. u will ignore it ah ?

Also, when v r angry at someone .. v shout naaye and all .. bloody what did that dog do to u ? why are u unnecessarily insulting the dog by calling someone names? If the dog comes to know that u r using its name to call stupid ppl na it will go and commit suicide ..

when u r standing in tea shop drinking tea.. one dog will come and look at you hopefully .. and u will say shoo-shoo go away .. it is looking at you .. thinking that u will buy something and give .. u alone will eat lots of bajji n all .. but u wont give the dog anything ah? it is exactly for situations like this u have tiger biscuits (the only human being whom i have seen eating the biscuit is the kid on that ad) .. it is only 4 rupees and it is available in almost all the tea kadais .. buy one packet and give it to the dog .. paavam .. let it eat that .. 

When the dog is going for bathroom, ppl will always honk from behind and scare the dog .. tell me ppl .. would you like it if someone honks from behind when u r going for bathroom?? Paavam that dog .. it does so much analysis and chooses its spot .. and u do a “beep beep” and nullify the entire analysis ..

Worst of all is when the dog is doing the matter .. all the ppl will throw stones as tho the dog is committing one big sin .. please understand .. dog doesn’t have a bedroom where it can do all these stuff freely .. u don’t have to keep paal and palam (milk and fruits) for the dog .. but at least leave it alone I say .. I think that the main ppl who throw the stones are the people who are jealous of the dog .. cuz the dog is getting it a lot .. that those pathetic losers aren’t getting any .. bloody .. I wish that when these guys are doing the matter .. some dog should come up from behind them and bark .. lets see then .. how these guys feel’nu .. 

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Whats your name?

Everytime I hear abt a knock-knock joke or a sardar joke, it pains me. You know y? its cuz our tamil nadu which created the mighty “mokkai” doesn’t have a joke series of its own. so presenting to you for the first time an emulsifications of the USPs of knock-knock jokes and our own home grown mokkais – Whats your name jokes. I use the work emulsification for the fact that these jokes were as difficult to make as home made mayonnaise with olive oil and egg yolk (I call myself useless chef .. I need to talk about food once in a while.. isn’t it?)

So here goes.
A: whats your name?
B: Ganesh
A: Ganesh na?
B: summa “Gun” maadri answer pannuven
A: appo na tel me the wave equation for De Brogle waves use it along with Hamilton Jocobi equation of mechanics ..
B: Dishkyaaooooon !!

A:What is your name?
B: naalu kku apram varumae athu than 5

A:Whats your name?
B: Santhoshi
A: Sun thochi kaaya podanuma?

A: Whats your name?
B: Harinee
A: Ennaku arikkala .. unnaku arichidhu na .. nee yay sorinjiko

A: Whats your name?
B: Priya
A: *in vadivelu voice* naa ippo preeeya elle .. venum na naalikku cinema povoma ?

A: whats your name?
B: Joshna
A: Joshna?
B: Shahrukh khan nadicha padam. see link here 

A: Whats your name?
B: Anitha
A: honey lam en kitta elle, kada open pannapram poi vaangitu varen

A: Whats your name?
B: Aishwariya?
A: Aishwariya?
B: yaara paathu variya nu kekuray .. na oru kudumba ponnu.

A: whats your name?
B: Indira
A: hey hindi, go .. go .. akka is calling you .. see .. hey hinda ra lethu andi ?
(just incorporating a bit of telugu too .. I guess it didn’t work out anyways)

i guess i ll stop with these ones for now. after all the idea is to let ppl put mokkai with other .. happy mokkai putting !!

P.S .. a lot of names i used here are my friends .. so .. please .. enna unga veetu pillaiya (not pillaiyar) nanaichi manithu vidungal ...