Things that make me wanna kill myself – Part One

I am sure everyone has experienced this at some point or the other.  This happened to me too on more than one occasions.  During the first year of my college, I used to travel by bus.  Since my journey time coincided with the peak hour of traffic, needless to say .. all the buses were jam-packed.   The distance from my coll to home was abt 15 kms and I always carried a huge bag;  so travelling in the footboard was totally out of question.   So I was always cramped in  between abt 10 ppl. 

I am sure u know how the system of standing-travelling in the bus works, but let me explain the procedure for those rich people who haven’t had the luxury of travelling in crowded buses (FYI .. no partiality to rich ppl intended here.) 

For rich people only: 

Bus- drivers are elite class of people, they think that the road belongs to them.  But, of course, you would have seen all this from your air-conditioned cars ..  isn’t it?  So .. you should know that to travel in a crowded bus during the peak hours,  you need to have the stamina of marathon runner,  speed of usain bolt,  agility of Wolverine and the strength of Mike Tyson (and it’s a plus if u know to bite people’s ears too).   From the bus manufacturers point of view,  he assumes that you have all these qualities, and all that he provides in a bus for your support is a rod that runs along the ceiling of the bus.  So.. the only thing that u hang on to (other than your dear life), on that bus is that rod. 

Yes,  so like I was saying,  I was always packed between ten people and there was always a silent war going on among the people to hold on to any part of that rod.  Now,  there are various weapons that people use in this unending war.  My weapon was the huge bag,  all I needed to was turn around and I would be to clear an area with the radius of two people (for those dumb people, please use the formula - pie * Radius²).  It wasn’t that effective but it was the only weapon that I had.  Other weapons that people used included pushing people,  coughing without covering the mouth, stamping with shoes etc.   But the best and the most effective of all was the “stink bomb”.  

This weapon is like a sniper because you got only one shot but you can be sure that once you fire and it hits the target,  the target would be eliminated.   May be u didn’t get it .. but let me explain in detail.  Picture this.  While the struggle is going on for that piece of rod,  it appears as though everyone is doing a Mexican wave.  But instead of looking in the same direction, the people are faced towards each other.  So the origin of this weapon, the source of this odour is right in front of your nose.  I fight, very valiantly for the first 10kms of my journey.  But when this Brahmaastra is thrown at me,  I have no choice but to give up.  I get down from the bus,  long before my destination.  I take in a deep breath to cleanse my lungs, I look up to the sky and I wish I had a gun.  I would have shot myself there – I have been defeated.  

P.S - one might wonder y i didnt use that weapon.  i guess that i wasnt blessed enough.